[Relationship Talk] Her parents won't let us marry because of my tribe, please help

She has asked me to impregnate her, because that's the only way her parents will allow us be together.

So I met this girl when I was in my third year in university. We were so much in love and everyone thought we were really cool together.

Our relationship grew stronger till we graduated.

The problem now is her parents. They expressly told her and her siblings never to marry an Igbo person and while she told me this long time ago, she also added that she loves me too much to leave me.

Frankly I love her too and I didn’t give it much thought until now. It’s been four years since we left school and we are still together.

The issue of marriage has come up few times now and her parents' orders have become a very big mountain now.

They don’t know about me yet but they keep asking her about her boyfriend and she fearfully told them she does not have one yet because she can’t introduce me to them as she is certain they won't ever approve.

I have offered to let her go, so as not to make her go against her parent’s words but she says she can’t.

Now she asked me to impregnate her, because her parents will have no option but to let her be with me once I do that.

I have been considering that for the last three weeks and I am not even sure what to do.

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

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Hello,

Thanks for reaching out and trusting my judgement on such sensitive issue.

To start with, you have been dating that woman for about five years now and if you commit that amount of time to someone, surely bonds must have gone really, really deep.

So I do not blame your girlfriend for suggesting that you both do whatever it takes to be together.

You don’t just give up on love like that, it’s never going to be that easy.

Of course, her parents’ wishes are quite unreasonable I dare say, given how the society is meant to have moved past tribalism and ethnicity.

Whatever their experiences are, I don’t think it should have a bearing on the decision their child makes especially as she is already an adult now.

If getting her pregnant is the way to get you guys together, I think you should go ahead and do it.

There might be unpleasant results afterwards, but at this stage, there’s bound to be some form of unpleasantness anyway, so I think you should go ahead and do the one that keeps you and your lover together.

The alternative is to let her go, and I doubt I’d want to leave someone I’ve loved for five years without a just cause.

You asked what I’d do if I were in your shoes, and there you have it.

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